1 00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:02,761 They are not. 2 00:00:02,763 --> 00:00:03,895 They are, too. 3 00:00:03,897 --> 00:00:05,430 Your hypothesis is completely disconfirmed 4 00:00:05,432 --> 00:00:07,032 by all the data. 5 00:00:07,034 --> 00:00:08,300 You're just clinging to it 6 00:00:08,302 --> 00:00:10,235 out of intellectual stubbornness. 7 00:00:10,237 --> 00:00:11,903 No, you're displaying a shocking ignorance 8 00:00:11,905 --> 00:00:13,438 of the subject matter. 9 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:17,108 Mummies and zombies are the exact same thing. 10 00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:19,477 Oh, yeah? 11 00:00:19,479 --> 00:00:21,813 Mummies are wrapped in bandages. 12 00:00:21,815 --> 00:00:24,566 That's called a fashion choice. 13 00:00:25,534 --> 00:00:28,486 All right, you brought this on yourself. 14 00:00:28,488 --> 00:00:29,687 Sheldon, get him. 15 00:00:29,689 --> 00:00:31,539 If a zombie bites you, 16 00:00:31,541 --> 00:00:32,857 you turn into a zombie. 17 00:00:32,859 --> 00:00:35,193 However, if a mummy bites you, 18 00:00:35,195 --> 00:00:38,246 all you turn into is some schmo with a mummy bite. 19 00:00:38,248 --> 00:00:40,081 So, like a zombie, 20 00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,133 that's been eaten from the waist down, 21 00:00:42,135 --> 00:00:44,636 you, sir, have no leg to stand on. 22 00:00:44,638 --> 00:00:46,087 Good boy. Here's a cookie. 23 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:47,889 Oh, thank you. 24 00:00:47,891 --> 00:00:50,208 Hey, fellas, what's going on? 25 00:00:50,210 --> 00:00:51,976 Mummies and zombies again. 26 00:00:51,978 --> 00:00:55,263 Oh, they're not the same thing. 27 00:00:55,265 --> 00:00:56,648 You get a cookie, too. 28 00:00:56,650 --> 00:00:58,316 Thanks. 29 00:00:58,318 --> 00:01:01,986 Guess who picked up his new car this morning? 30 00:01:01,988 --> 00:01:03,554 KOOTHRAPPALI: Congratulations. 31 00:01:03,556 --> 00:01:05,573 Does it have that new car smell? Yep! 32 00:01:05,575 --> 00:01:07,742 For as long as I can keep my mother out of it. 33 00:01:07,744 --> 00:01:09,944 If you want to check it out later, 34 00:01:09,946 --> 00:01:12,563 it's parked right out front, space 294. 35 00:01:12,565 --> 00:01:15,283 I'm sorry-- 294? 36 00:01:15,285 --> 00:01:18,370 Yeah. That's my parking spot. 37 00:01:19,505 --> 00:01:21,039 Why do you have a parking spot? 38 00:01:21,041 --> 00:01:23,108 You don't have a car. You don't even drive. 39 00:01:23,110 --> 00:01:24,426 It doesn't matter. 40 00:01:24,428 --> 00:01:25,877 That's my spot. 41 00:01:26,762 --> 00:01:27,846 Maybe they reassigned it 42 00:01:27,848 --> 00:01:29,214 because you never use it. 43 00:01:29,216 --> 00:01:30,799 Well, I'm not using my nipples, either. 44 00:01:30,801 --> 00:01:32,967 Maybe they should reassign those. 45 00:01:32,969 --> 00:01:37,021 Sheldon, someday, if you get a car, 46 00:01:37,023 --> 00:01:40,024 I'm sure they'll give you another parking space. 47 00:01:40,026 --> 00:01:41,526 I don't want another parking space. 48 00:01:41,528 --> 00:01:43,428 I want my parking space. 49 00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:44,446 It's perfect. 50 00:01:44,448 --> 00:01:45,763 It's a corner spot, 51 00:01:45,765 --> 00:01:47,148 cutting the risk of door-dings in half. 52 00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,433 It's a mere 28 steps 53 00:01:48,435 --> 00:01:49,934 from the building entrance. 54 00:01:49,936 --> 00:01:53,321 The nearby tree provides shade on hot days 55 00:01:53,323 --> 00:01:56,458 and is also home to a delightful squirrel. 56 00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:58,076 Which is fortuitous 57 00:01:58,078 --> 00:02:00,778 because most squirrels are real jerks. 58 00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:04,165 Fun story. 59 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:06,584 Meanwhile, you still don't have a car. 60 00:02:06,586 --> 00:02:08,236 Don't try to change the subject. 61 00:02:08,238 --> 00:02:09,721 This is about a parking space. 62 00:02:09,723 --> 00:02:11,673 It has nothing to do with cars. 63 00:02:11,675 --> 00:02:13,958 Are you listening to yourself? 64 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,226 I always listen to myself. 65 00:02:15,228 --> 00:02:17,061 It's one of the great joys of my life. 66 00:02:17,063 --> 00:02:20,231 Now, get your car out of my spot. 67 00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:21,232 Nope. 68 00:02:21,234 --> 00:02:22,684 Very well. 69 00:02:22,686 --> 00:02:24,269 You leave me no choice. 70 00:02:24,271 --> 00:02:26,471 (groaning) 71 00:02:29,058 --> 00:02:30,408 (squirrel chattering) 72 00:02:30,410 --> 00:02:33,278 What are you looking at, you stupid squirrel? 73 00:02:34,330 --> 00:02:37,982 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 74 00:02:37,984 --> 00:02:41,319 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 75 00:02:41,321 --> 00:02:42,954 ♪ The Earth began to cool 76 00:02:42,956 --> 00:02:45,490 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 77 00:02:45,492 --> 00:02:48,159 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 78 00:02:48,161 --> 00:02:50,862 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 79 00:02:50,864 --> 00:02:52,730 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 80 00:02:52,732 --> 00:02:54,699 ♪ Bang! ♪ 81 00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:58,200 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x09 ♪ The Parking Spot Escalation Original Air Date on November 29, 2012 82 00:02:58,201 --> 00:03:01,701 == sync, corrected by elderman == 83 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:06,585 President Siebert, listen to reason. 84 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:09,471 Yeah, I understand I don't use the parking spot, 85 00:03:09,473 --> 00:03:11,156 but that's not the point. 86 00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:12,507 I... 87 00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:16,161 Yes, I'm aware you told me not to call you at home. 88 00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:18,096 But you didn't answer the door! 89 00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,965 And I know 90 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:22,300 you were there, because I saw you through the mail slot. 91 00:03:23,686 --> 00:03:25,854 Well, that's some salty language. 92 00:03:25,856 --> 00:03:29,024 May I remind you that you're the president of a major university, 93 00:03:29,026 --> 00:03:31,526 not the president of the Potty Mouth Club. 94 00:03:31,528 --> 00:03:33,445 There it is again. 95 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,914 Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? 96 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,867 Oh, well, I'm sorry for your loss. 97 00:03:38,869 --> 00:03:40,702 Oh...! Good night, sir. 98 00:03:40,704 --> 00:03:42,954 Unbelievable. 99 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,507 He says Wolowitz deserves my spot 100 00:03:45,509 --> 00:03:48,844 because he's a high-profile asset to the university. 101 00:03:48,846 --> 00:03:50,011 Well, he's not wrong. 102 00:03:50,013 --> 00:03:52,163 Howard did go to the International Space Station. 103 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,665 Yeah, that was five weeks ago. 104 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,967 How much longer is he gonna milk that cow? 105 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,103 Sheldon, let it go. 106 00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,521 It's not a big deal. 107 00:03:59,523 --> 00:04:01,690 No, no, this is a slippery slope, Leonard. 108 00:04:01,692 --> 00:04:03,542 It starts with a parking space. 109 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:04,843 Where does it end? 110 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,194 It's like my dad always said, 111 00:04:06,196 --> 00:04:08,196 "First they say you can't drink and drive. 112 00:04:08,198 --> 00:04:10,115 "Next thing you know, you can't let your 10-year-old 113 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:14,069 take the wheel while you sleep one off in the backseat." 114 00:04:14,071 --> 00:04:18,957 All that story does is make me feel bad for your mother. 115 00:04:21,711 --> 00:04:23,044 Leonard, you're my best friend. 116 00:04:23,046 --> 00:04:24,663 Why don't you ever take my side? 117 00:04:25,715 --> 00:04:29,367 Because I can never understand your side! 118 00:04:32,037 --> 00:04:33,171 Give it back. 119 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,306 I'm sorry, 120 00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:36,875 but could you be more specific? 121 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,059 My Iron Man helmet. 122 00:04:38,061 --> 00:04:39,711 Koothrappali saw you take it. Give it back. 123 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,730 Oh, that. 124 00:04:41,732 --> 00:04:43,882 Well, see, I wanted it, 125 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:46,718 and you weren't using it. 126 00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:50,989 Apparently, those are the rules we live by now. 127 00:04:52,057 --> 00:04:53,391 Payback-- 128 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:56,027 it truly is the B word, isn't it? 129 00:04:56,029 --> 00:05:00,532 Sheldon, that is a $500 limited edition collectible, 130 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,501 and I want it back. 131 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:05,704 I'd love to help you out, but unfortunately, 132 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,873 I'm using it. 133 00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:13,428 Fine. 134 00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:15,213 I'm taking your diploma. 135 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,716 Go ahead. 136 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:20,385 That's the only doctorate you'll ever get. 137 00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,843 It smells funny in here. 138 00:05:29,061 --> 00:05:30,478 We're so proud of you, Amy. 139 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:31,863 Your first bikini wax. 140 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,982 Yeah. 141 00:05:39,322 --> 00:05:41,272 So, how you doing? 142 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,375 A little sensitive, but not bad. 143 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,109 Does it always take that long? 144 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,411 Uh, no, 145 00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:49,280 they usually don't have to go out and get more wax. 146 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:52,717 I feel like I'm five pounds lighter. 147 00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:57,722 Really? Only five? 148 00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:00,926 Hey, anybody want a drink? 149 00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:02,160 Okay. Sure. 150 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,095 So, did you spend last night hearing 151 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,798 about this silly parking space fight, too? 152 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,317 For hours. Fortunately, I couldn't understand most of it 153 00:06:09,319 --> 00:06:12,520 'cause Sheldon was wearing that stupid robot mask. 154 00:06:12,522 --> 00:06:14,606 Howard was so angry 155 00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:16,708 I had to mash up Benadryl in his ice cream 156 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,110 to get him to fall asleep. 157 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,695 I guess this is what we get 158 00:06:20,697 --> 00:06:24,249 for being with two testosterone-fueled alpha males. 159 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,450 At some point, 160 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:27,586 they're bound to lock horns. 161 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,371 I'm assuming these are some kind of horns 162 00:06:29,373 --> 00:06:31,289 they bought at Comic-Con? 163 00:06:33,009 --> 00:06:36,027 I'm really sorry they took Sheldon's spot away. 164 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:37,262 He shouldn't have to suffer 165 00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,180 just because Howard's such a big deal now. 166 00:06:39,182 --> 00:06:41,332 I know, Sheldon should just let Howard 167 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,134 have his little moment in the sun. 168 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,136 What's that supposed to mean? 169 00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:48,006 Well, Howard's never gonna go to space again, 170 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:51,843 but Sheldon will always be a genius. 171 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,612 You're right. 172 00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,147 And I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again, 173 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,449 if and when he makes 174 00:06:57,451 --> 00:07:00,018 a worthwhile contribution to science. 175 00:07:01,237 --> 00:07:03,121 If and when? Okay, 176 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,457 maybe we should change the subject. Amy, how are 177 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,692 your lady parts? Still chilly down there? 178 00:07:09,361 --> 00:07:10,795 Hang on. 179 00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,414 None of Sheldon's theories 180 00:07:12,416 --> 00:07:14,132 have ever been definitively proven. 181 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:17,135 My husband actually went to outer space. 182 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,154 That's an impressive accomplishment. 183 00:07:19,156 --> 00:07:21,256 He's now an inspiration to millions of Americans 184 00:07:21,258 --> 00:07:22,891 who know you don't have to be special 185 00:07:22,893 --> 00:07:25,043 or even qualified to go into space. 186 00:07:26,295 --> 00:07:29,297 You know, I remember the first time I got a bikini wax. 187 00:07:29,299 --> 00:07:33,234 My sister did it with melted Crayolas and duct tape. 188 00:07:33,236 --> 00:07:37,055 (laughing): It's a bad idea... 189 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,190 Gosh, Amy. 190 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,059 I'm sensing a little hostility. 191 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,911 Is it maybe because, like Sheldon's work, 192 00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:45,664 your sex life is also theoretical? 193 00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,418 Damn. 194 00:07:52,288 --> 00:07:54,422 Yeah, well, at least when we do make love, 195 00:07:54,424 --> 00:07:57,241 Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother. 196 00:07:59,378 --> 00:08:01,296 And yes, that is a cleverly veiled reference 197 00:08:01,298 --> 00:08:02,580 to Howard's lifelong obsession 198 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:05,350 to crawl back into her spacious womb. 199 00:08:06,802 --> 00:08:08,553 Anyway, to this day, I still can't see 200 00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:11,255 a box of crayons without crossing my legs. 201 00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:14,192 I don't have to take this. 202 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:17,195 I'm gonna go home and have sex with my husband right now. 203 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:20,865 Maybe I'll let him do it to me in the parking spot. 204 00:08:22,051 --> 00:08:25,937 Which sounds dirty, but I didn't mean it that way! 205 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,539 (door slams) 206 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,441 Okay, here's another one: 207 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:33,244 If a zombie bites a vampire, 208 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:36,114 and the vampire bites a human, 209 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:39,217 does the human become a vampire or a zombie? 210 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:43,038 Or a zompire? 211 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,091 Sheldon? 212 00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,227 Cookie. 213 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,229 I don't have any. 214 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,897 Well, I'm not giving it away. 215 00:08:55,484 --> 00:08:56,818 WOLOWITZ: Hi, Sheldon. 216 00:08:56,820 --> 00:08:59,020 (screams) 217 00:09:02,425 --> 00:09:03,942 He's in my spot. 218 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:06,611 Leonard, make him stop being naked in my spot. 219 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,748 (laughing): Howard, what are you doing? 220 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,283 He wasn't using it. 221 00:09:13,369 --> 00:09:15,754 And I needed a nice cool piece of leather 222 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:18,339 to wiggle my naked ass on. 223 00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:20,825 Get off there. 224 00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,560 Give me back my Iron Man helmet. 225 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,012 Give me back my parking space. 226 00:09:24,014 --> 00:09:25,547 You don't need a parking space. 227 00:09:25,549 --> 00:09:26,681 You don't have a car. 228 00:09:26,683 --> 00:09:28,183 You don't need an Iron Man helmet. 229 00:09:28,185 --> 00:09:30,101 You're not Iron Man. 230 00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:33,905 Well, we appear to have reached an impasse. 231 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,023 And you know, 232 00:09:35,025 --> 00:09:36,157 I have to say, I thought 233 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,559 you'd be more upset that your laptop 234 00:09:37,561 --> 00:09:40,462 is sitting on my junk. 235 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:43,731 I didn't pick up on that. 236 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:44,949 That's a nice touch. 237 00:09:59,247 --> 00:10:00,541 This is so exciting. 238 00:10:00,542 --> 00:10:01,925 I'm feeling all tingly. 239 00:10:01,927 --> 00:10:05,011 Although that could just be my newly defoliated bikini zone. 240 00:10:05,013 --> 00:10:07,214 Keep a lookout. 241 00:10:07,216 --> 00:10:09,999 This place is swarming with campus security. 242 00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:12,686 They will not hesitate to scold us. 243 00:10:12,688 --> 00:10:14,855 Freaking pigs. 244 00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:21,695 Oh, yeah. 245 00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:24,681 Okay, now, 246 00:10:24,683 --> 00:10:27,183 pull your car into the spot and let's get out of here. 247 00:10:27,185 --> 00:10:28,985 Wait, I'm leaving my car here? 248 00:10:28,987 --> 00:10:31,538 Yes, and be sure and put on the emergency brake. 249 00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:33,240 Really makes these things tough to budge. 250 00:10:33,242 --> 00:10:36,827 Before I park, come in the backseat. 251 00:10:36,829 --> 00:10:39,830 I want to show you something I had done today. 252 00:10:39,832 --> 00:10:42,549 All right, color me intrigued. 253 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:49,156 What do you think? 254 00:10:49,158 --> 00:10:52,175 I think you're high on paint fumes. 255 00:10:52,177 --> 00:10:55,762 And boy, that's a lot of Band-Aids. 256 00:10:56,981 --> 00:10:59,850 Okay, Howard's mother is in, like, 257 00:10:59,852 --> 00:11:01,384 every one of your wedding photos. 258 00:11:01,386 --> 00:11:04,771 What can I tell ya? She's a big girl. 259 00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:11,060 Wherever you look, there she is. 260 00:11:11,062 --> 00:11:12,228 More coffee? 261 00:11:12,230 --> 00:11:15,081 No, Leonard's taking me to a physics lecture, 262 00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,584 and coffee'll just keep me awake. 263 00:11:17,586 --> 00:11:18,702 (knocking on door) 264 00:11:18,704 --> 00:11:20,203 Oh, I'll get it. 265 00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:28,261 Oh, looks like someone's on Team Bernadette. 266 00:11:29,630 --> 00:11:30,847 Where's Howard? 267 00:11:30,849 --> 00:11:32,799 He's not here. What's wrong? 268 00:11:32,801 --> 00:11:33,800 He had my car towed. 269 00:11:33,802 --> 00:11:35,552 It cost me $200 to get it back. 270 00:11:35,554 --> 00:11:37,103 Oh, no. 271 00:11:37,105 --> 00:11:39,439 Where was it parked? 272 00:11:40,975 --> 00:11:43,059 In Sheldon's spot. 273 00:11:43,061 --> 00:11:44,477 That doesn't make sense. 274 00:11:44,479 --> 00:11:46,262 Sheldon doesn't have a spot. 275 00:11:46,264 --> 00:11:49,316 Was it maybe in Howard's spot? 276 00:11:50,568 --> 00:11:52,402 Don't play dumb with me, sister. 277 00:11:52,404 --> 00:11:54,154 You tell your husband he owes me $200. 278 00:11:54,156 --> 00:11:56,039 Well, that doesn't make sense, either. 279 00:11:56,041 --> 00:11:57,123 Why not? 280 00:11:57,125 --> 00:12:00,160 Because I'm the one who had it towed. 281 00:12:01,946 --> 00:12:03,413 You? 282 00:12:03,415 --> 00:12:06,666 Didn't see that one coming, did ya? 283 00:12:06,668 --> 00:12:07,801 Oh, yeah? 284 00:12:07,803 --> 00:12:09,469 Well, you're not gonna see this coming. 285 00:12:09,471 --> 00:12:10,804 Ow! Ow! 286 00:12:10,806 --> 00:12:13,340 Oh, my God, are you okay?! 287 00:12:13,342 --> 00:12:14,474 (muffled shouting) 288 00:12:14,476 --> 00:12:16,476 What the hell do you have in there?! 289 00:12:16,478 --> 00:12:18,762 Just my wallet, keys and a coffee can full of change 290 00:12:18,764 --> 00:12:20,680 I've been meaning to take to the bank. 291 00:12:21,799 --> 00:12:23,183 Don't move. I'll get some ice. 292 00:12:23,185 --> 00:12:24,133 Are you okay? 293 00:12:24,135 --> 00:12:25,602 Get away from me or I swear to God 294 00:12:25,604 --> 00:12:27,637 I will rip out what's left of your pubes! 295 00:12:28,439 --> 00:12:30,807 Here. Thanks. Ah! 296 00:12:30,809 --> 00:12:33,309 Amy, you think maybe this has gotten a little out of hand? 297 00:12:33,311 --> 00:12:36,162 Gee, you think?! 298 00:12:36,164 --> 00:12:37,113 I do. 299 00:12:37,115 --> 00:12:39,499 Penny, Bernadette and I are sorry. 300 00:12:39,501 --> 00:12:41,167 You hit her! What did I do? 301 00:12:41,169 --> 00:12:42,369 You had my car towed. 302 00:12:42,371 --> 00:12:44,287 You were parked in Howard's spot! 303 00:12:44,289 --> 00:12:45,505 I was parked in Sheldon's spot! 304 00:12:45,507 --> 00:12:46,990 Sheldon doesn't have a spot! 305 00:12:46,992 --> 00:12:49,826 Guys, I think I need to go to the emergency room. 306 00:12:49,828 --> 00:12:51,828 Okay, let's go. I'll drive. 307 00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:54,297 You can see where the tow truck scratched my car. 308 00:12:54,299 --> 00:12:56,165 The tow truck didn't scratch your car. 309 00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:58,134 How do you know? 'Cause I did it! 310 00:13:08,145 --> 00:13:10,513 Morning, Professor Stevens. 311 00:13:10,515 --> 00:13:11,982 Don't look at that whiteboard. 312 00:13:11,984 --> 00:13:14,317 That's my math, not your math. 313 00:13:14,319 --> 00:13:15,702 Keep walking, nosey. 314 00:13:16,654 --> 00:13:19,322 What the hell are you doing? 315 00:13:19,324 --> 00:13:21,074 Oh... 316 00:13:21,076 --> 00:13:25,128 You said I'm not using my space, so... I'm using it. 317 00:13:27,999 --> 00:13:30,634 Okay, you need to move now. 318 00:13:30,636 --> 00:13:32,302 No, I don't. 319 00:13:32,304 --> 00:13:34,421 You can't stay there forever. 320 00:13:34,423 --> 00:13:37,340 Actually, I have a plastic baggy 321 00:13:37,342 --> 00:13:40,226 strapped to my leg that says I can. 322 00:13:41,062 --> 00:13:42,646 Give up, Wolowitz. 323 00:13:42,648 --> 00:13:44,481 You've chosen to tangle 324 00:13:44,483 --> 00:13:46,516 with a superior intellect you can't defeat. 325 00:13:46,518 --> 00:13:48,518 There is nothing you could possibly do to... 326 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,037 (horn blaring) 327 00:13:57,745 --> 00:13:59,896 Those aren't gonna help you, Sheldon! 328 00:13:59,898 --> 00:14:01,498 Oh, yes, they are! 329 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,583 I mean, what?! 330 00:14:03,585 --> 00:14:05,752 (horn stops) I'm warning you, Sheldon! 331 00:14:05,754 --> 00:14:07,420 Your threats are empty! 332 00:14:07,422 --> 00:14:09,238 Nothing can move me! 333 00:14:10,508 --> 00:14:11,458 Stop that! 334 00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:12,842 Get out of my spot! 335 00:14:12,844 --> 00:14:13,760 That's it. 336 00:14:13,762 --> 00:14:15,578 I am calling campus security! 337 00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:19,265 You prepare for the scolding of your life! 338 00:14:19,267 --> 00:14:21,084 What are you idiots doing?! 339 00:14:21,086 --> 00:14:23,186 He's trying to kill me, Leonard! 340 00:14:23,188 --> 00:14:24,888 Video games and rock music 341 00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:26,723 have desensitized him to violence! 342 00:14:28,142 --> 00:14:29,943 Would you please talk some sense 343 00:14:29,945 --> 00:14:31,945 into your lunatic roommate? 344 00:14:31,947 --> 00:14:33,530 You're both acting like lunatics. 345 00:14:33,532 --> 00:14:36,533 It's just a parking spot. It's not just a parking spot! 346 00:14:36,535 --> 00:14:37,734 He can't handle the fact that 347 00:14:37,736 --> 00:14:39,703 I'm a bigger deal than he is now. 348 00:14:39,705 --> 00:14:41,788 Oh, preposterous! 349 00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:43,373 I have been solely responsible 350 00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:46,275 for this university's six-loop quantum gravity calculations; 351 00:14:46,277 --> 00:14:47,544 I have changed the way we think 352 00:14:47,546 --> 00:14:50,880 about Bose-Einstein condensates, and I am also the one 353 00:14:50,882 --> 00:14:54,134 who got Nutter Butters in the cafeteria vending machine. 354 00:14:55,252 --> 00:14:57,170 Maybe you missed that news while you were 355 00:14:57,172 --> 00:14:59,005 floating around like a goof in outer space. 356 00:15:00,791 --> 00:15:03,510 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. 357 00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,312 Can you believe this guy? 358 00:15:06,314 --> 00:15:08,648 What I don't believe is that you tried to run him over. 359 00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:11,151 Oh, like you've never thought of doing that. 360 00:15:12,186 --> 00:15:15,405 Don't hate me just because I lived the dream. 361 00:15:15,407 --> 00:15:16,639 (horn beeps twice) 362 00:15:16,641 --> 00:15:17,774 Hey. 363 00:15:17,776 --> 00:15:19,642 Sweet ride! 364 00:15:22,179 --> 00:15:24,364 What are you doing in there?! 365 00:15:24,366 --> 00:15:26,950 Just breaking in your new car. 366 00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:31,921 Stop that! You stop that! 367 00:15:31,923 --> 00:15:33,322 You know what they say? 368 00:15:33,324 --> 00:15:37,326 Revenge is a dish best served nude. 369 00:15:40,598 --> 00:15:41,765 (knocking on door) 370 00:15:41,767 --> 00:15:43,700 Hey, got a minute? 371 00:15:43,702 --> 00:15:44,884 Oh, of course, come in. 372 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,943 This is an authentic Chinese throwing star, 373 00:15:53,945 --> 00:15:55,195 and I must warn you, 374 00:15:55,197 --> 00:15:57,513 I have seen many people throw them in movies. 375 00:15:58,199 --> 00:15:59,816 Calm down. 376 00:15:59,818 --> 00:16:01,751 Howard has something he wants to say to you. 377 00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,352 WOLOWITZ: All right. 378 00:16:03,354 --> 00:16:10,126 Sheldon, when this whole thing with the parking space started, 379 00:16:10,128 --> 00:16:14,531 I had no idea just how much of a crazy bastard... 380 00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:16,366 Howard... 381 00:16:16,368 --> 00:16:17,884 that's not how we practiced it. 382 00:16:17,886 --> 00:16:22,388 I had no idea how much that spot meant to you. 383 00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:23,907 Anyway, I called 384 00:16:23,909 --> 00:16:26,910 President Siebert and told him 385 00:16:26,912 --> 00:16:29,729 it's not worth fighting over the spot, 386 00:16:29,731 --> 00:16:32,048 so you keep it, and I'll park 387 00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:34,417 in the structure across the street. 388 00:16:34,419 --> 00:16:37,770 Well, Howard, thank you. 389 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:42,058 It's quite a gesture on your part. 390 00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,560 You've shown yourself to be the bigger man. 391 00:16:44,562 --> 00:16:45,528 Thank you. 392 00:16:45,530 --> 00:16:48,097 Which I find totally unacceptable. 393 00:16:48,099 --> 00:16:51,417 I must be the bigger man. 394 00:16:51,419 --> 00:16:56,039 Therefore, you may use my spot until such time 395 00:16:56,041 --> 00:16:59,742 as I learn to drive or get a Batmobile. 396 00:16:59,744 --> 00:17:02,629 Wow, okay. 397 00:17:02,631 --> 00:17:04,380 Well, thanks. 398 00:17:04,382 --> 00:17:06,716 I don't know what to say. 399 00:17:06,718 --> 00:17:08,218 There is nothing to say. 400 00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:10,086 Except I'm the bigger man. 401 00:17:11,472 --> 00:17:13,589 I'm not kidding. Say it. 402 00:17:15,142 --> 00:17:17,026 Just say it. 403 00:17:17,028 --> 00:17:19,579 You're the bigger man, Sheldon. 404 00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,364 Oh, stop. 405 00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:25,652 And I believe this is yours. 406 00:17:25,654 --> 00:17:28,204 FYI, if you wear that into a bank, 407 00:17:28,206 --> 00:17:30,273 they will tackle you to the ground. 408 00:17:33,277 --> 00:17:36,913 I'd like to propose a toast-- 409 00:17:36,915 --> 00:17:39,132 to burying the hatchet. 410 00:17:39,134 --> 00:17:41,668 To burying the hatchet. 411 00:17:43,587 --> 00:17:45,889 You know, I'm kind of glad this happened. 412 00:17:45,891 --> 00:17:47,456 Me, too. 413 00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:50,510 In some weird way, I kind of feel like it brought us closer. 414 00:17:50,512 --> 00:17:53,563 Yeah, everybody's happy. Great! 415 00:18:04,943 --> 00:18:06,310 Can I help you? 416 00:18:06,312 --> 00:18:09,347 Yes. According to information 417 00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,648 I gleaned from Yelp, 418 00:18:10,650 --> 00:18:14,585 you had great success when a santeriasuzy37 419 00:18:14,587 --> 00:18:16,487 brought you a pair of leather slacks 420 00:18:16,489 --> 00:18:18,322 stained with chicken blood. 421 00:18:19,491 --> 00:18:22,543 I believe I may have a similar problem. 422 00:18:24,596 --> 00:18:30,218 This cushion experienced a nude revenge wiggle. 423 00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:32,670 A what? 424 00:18:32,672 --> 00:18:35,056 A naked man sat on it. 425 00:18:35,058 --> 00:18:36,841 Now, here's my concern: 426 00:18:36,843 --> 00:18:40,778 His diet is rich in fatty deli meats. 427 00:18:41,747 --> 00:18:45,015 What test do you have to detect lipid residue? 428 00:18:45,017 --> 00:18:47,902 Lipid what? 429 00:18:47,904 --> 00:18:50,688 Lipid residue. 430 00:18:50,690 --> 00:18:52,857 An anal autograph. 431 00:18:53,659 --> 00:18:56,828 A colon calling card, if you will. 432 00:18:59,832 --> 00:19:01,566 Tuesday okay? 433 00:19:02,751 --> 00:19:03,701 Don't rush it. 434 00:19:03,703 --> 00:19:05,336 We may be dealing with befoulment 435 00:19:05,338 --> 00:19:07,204 on a molecular level. 436 00:19:07,206 --> 00:19:10,174 Let me write you a ticket. 437 00:19:11,743 --> 00:19:13,895 Is that your son? 438 00:19:13,897 --> 00:19:15,880 Uh-huh. 439 00:19:15,882 --> 00:19:19,016 Looks like that laptop's seen better days. 440 00:19:19,018 --> 00:19:21,986 If you're interested, I'm selling this. 441 00:19:21,988 --> 00:19:23,521 It's only two years old, 442 00:19:23,523 --> 00:19:25,273 16 gigabytes of RAM, 443 00:19:25,275 --> 00:19:27,358 Intel core, i7 processor, 444 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,193 and I can personally guarantee 445 00:19:29,195 --> 00:19:31,245 it has spent less than 20 minutes resting on 446 00:19:31,247 --> 00:19:32,530 an astronaut's penis. 447 00:19:32,532 --> 00:19:37,532 == sync, corrected by elderman ==